Pig Out. When Done, Just Pump and Flush!
On the back of the Segway’s immense popularity, Dean Kamen the inventor, got together with some Hippocratically challenged doctors and created another blockbuster in modern technology. Essentially it is a reverse stomach pump; a cute DYI bulimic device called “The AspireAssist Aspiration Therapy System”. It hungrily sucks recently eaten food from your stomach and pumps it out into the toilet. Now you can eat what you want and not worry about the calories! However, you have to be willing and brave enough to get a cyborg-like valve surgically implanted on your stomach. But wait there is more! If you are particularly lucky the pump will struggle to break up large foods like cauliflower, steak, pretzels, and Chinese food and may even get clogged. At this point you can’t call Rooter Rooter, you’ll have to be your own plumber or quickly haul yourself to the nearest hospital to empty the partially masticated blockage. Clearly, the individuals who want to disgorge their stomach contents through a see-through plastic tube three times a day, all without losing their appetite, need as much help as they can get.
Is this part of Dean Karmen’s evil plot for world domination, first by removing everyone’s ability to walk and then by sabotaging everyone’s ability to digest?
If you dare, watch the demo video:
I understand losing weight can be a difficult and daunting process. We should be focusing on dietary and lifestyle changes that will not only help you lose weight but also improve your mood and overall outlook. Weight training and proper diet will and always have proven to deliver the most efficient and effective results.
Doug Joachim – NYC www.JoachimsTraining.com